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Signs of a Cheating Spouse

February 08, 2012 by PInow Staff Business Tools
What do private investigators say are the most common signs of a cheating spouse?
When you suspect infidelity in your relationship it can be difficult to determine whether or not your suspicions are valid and if so, what to do next. At PInow, we surveyed our network of trusted infidelity investigators to find out what, in their experience, are the common indications of infidelity in a relationship. The following graphic displays the six major signs of a cheating spouse, what to expect in an infidelity investigation and other statistics on infidelity and marriage.
And the 6 common signs of a cheating spouse are ...
1. Changes in Intimacy
2. Suspicious Phone Habits
3. Changes in Appearance

4. Suspicious Internet Use
5. Changes in Work Routine
6. Changes in Bathing Habits
Infidelity investigations can cost anywhere from $500 to $5,000 and last anywhere from 4 hours to 6 months. Most investigators said their investigations verify infidelity 75-100% of the time. Other statistics show that when spouses cheat, 55% of the time it's the husband while 45% of the time it's the wife. 30-60% of married people will cheat on their spouse according to a range that compensates for dishonesty among study participants. Marriage statistics were provided by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, Indiana University, Business Week, The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal. If you have further questions or are concerned that your spouse may be cheating, contact a PInow investigator in your area.
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If you found any of this information helpful, share the link with anyone who might benefit or find it interesting. This infographic was created as a quick reference for individuals considering an infidelity investigation. We encourage you to post this to your investigations, infidelity or relationship blog and include it in your association newsletter. If you need a different size for your website, blog, or newsletter, need an accompanying article, have different printing requirements, or have any other requests regarding this piece, send us an email.

Legislative Ramrod

The Utah Legislature and Gov. Gary Herbert hit a new low passing HB 477. I've not read one constituent post in favor of the bill. Yet, here we are. It appears that our Utah government has become a supremacy in and of itself, despite the desires of the citizens it was voted to represent. The will of the government now takes precedent over the will of the people.

Imagine a World Without Books

As an author, I've considered writing a book about a world without books. Would there be schools? Would there be cars, telephones, computers, or wars? Would there be romance and marriage? Would we have become a species similar to sheep? What would this world look like without books?

Is Jake Barkley Me?

People who have read my book, The Murder Gene say that the primary protagonist, Jake Barkley reminds them of me. Jake is the saddest man on the face of the planet, because his dear wife died from breast cancer. Folks, my wife has endured cancer three times including breast cancer. She is alive and amazing. Sandy is my hero.

Thank You

Recently I spoke to a woman who read my book, The Murder Gene. She told me it was one of the best books she ever read. She said she couldn't put the book down. She said she was sad that the book ended. Sometimes, thank you is not enough.

Time to think

I read a lot of hate coming from some of my friends and neighbors and wonder what world they live in. People put down this great nation because of failures that happened one and two centuries ago. What happened with the negroes before and after the civil war were horrible injustices. What happened with Native Americans as the far reaches of this country were being settled was truly atrocious. That said, it's time that we forget the past and band together and exert ourselves to improve tomorrow. Let the past centuries fill the pages of our history books while we strive to color the pages of future generations. Love your country and hope that we have all learned lessons from the past.

My Eyes

I ran into an old friend the other day
It had been years since I’ve shook his hand
He mentioned that I’m starting to show some grey
I laughed and mentioned he had a crooked stand

He looked at me and said something had changed
He asked if I still chased those thieving crooks
I nodded and joked how the chase delivers more pain
He said no, your eyes have a different look

My eyes, my eyes have seen the stains on a thousand lives
My eyes, my eyes have forgotten the feeling of tears
I’ve seen the horrible ends of guns and knives
I guess my eyes are the victims of many violent years

My eyes, my eyes no longer scan a crowd and just see commotion
They no longer look down a dark alley and feel afraid
My eyes, my eyes no longer show much human emotion
I guess my eyes are the victims of old prices paid

As my friend and I spoke I realized he wasn’t anyone I knew
Through my eyes I saw him as some kind of perfect stranger
Though he had the same smile and his eyes were just as blue
He’d some how been changed through my world fraught with anger

As we looked back over our lives and the course of our time
I discovered that I’ve lived in two separate worlds
I first lived as a boy, oblivious to all surrounding crime
Then thirty years a cop, the deeds of the devil have unfurled

My eyes, my eyes have seen the stains on a thousand lives
My eyes, my eyes have forgotten the feelings of tears
I’ve seen the horrible results of guns and knives
I guess my eyes are the victims of many violent years

My eyes, my eyes no longer scan a crowd seeing just commotion
They no longer look down a dark alley and feel afraid
My eyes, my eyes no longer show much human emotion
I guess my eyes are the victims of old prices paid

Time to Reflect

I'm the type of person who enjoys a good book; I enjoy getting an eagle on the golf course; I enjoy a good conversation with my wife. What I don't like is reading all of that hate on the editorial page. Recently there has been a bunch of hate concerning illegal aliens. "If you don't speak English you don't belong in America."

Can someone tell me the difference between an illegal alien and a political refuge? Immigrants are immigrants whether they're from Africa or Mexico. O, wait a second, I read someone's letter saying that "illegal is illegal." They are breaking the law by being here. I would bet that the person who wrote that line exceeded the posted speed limit by a few miles an hour in the past week. We are all a little guilty of something.

Folks, I would like to see a raise of hands on who wants to work harvesting beets or tomatoes. I don't see any hands. Who wants to be carrying the hundred pounds of brick to the work site? Who wants to clean the motel toilets? My point is, these people are doing us a great service by taking the jobs that nobody, NOBODY, wants.

I was lucky having been born in America. I have never had the urge to move outside of the country. But then, I was born with a iron spoon in my mouth. My dad worked in the mines and my mom work as a baker. Everything I've gotten I have had to work for. I don't whine over the haves and I don't complain about the have nots. We are in this together.

Crazy

Have I mentioned recently that this world is just a bit crazy? I'm not talking about schizophrenia. I mean looney tunes with a capital L. I was a cop for a few decades. In that time I got the opportunity to experience whack nuts (that's plural) picketting the outside walkways of a courthouse where a party was on trial for abusing a dog. Over those same decades, I never once (that means never) saw someone picket a courthouse where a person was charged with murdering a baby.

Where are our priorities? Hurting dogs is not a good thing, but, killing babies is a really horrible thing. So why don't we stand up for our own children? Can anyone respond?

My Safe Place

Please take me back to my home
Take me to the dark place I was found
Please take me to my safe place
Where I’m protected from the horrors and the sounds

Please take me to my safe place
Between the wall and the heater
Please take me to the place I stay
When pappa hurts momma, when he beats her

Please take me to my safe place
When they fight throughout the night
I’m old enough to know when
He hits her it’s not right

In my safe place I can dream of smiles
And dream of breakfast of milk and lucky charms
I dream of times when I was smaller
When I fell asleep in her warm loving arms

Please take me to my safe place
Between the heater and the wall
Take me to my safe place
Where I can get away from it all

When momma said don’t ever leave that spot
Don’t move from that space until I come
I promised her that I would stay there
Then prayed a billion prayers and then some

So when that policeman pulled me out
To where I saw the blood and momma’s torn lace
I asked him where my momma was
He mouthed, “She’s in a better place.”

She can’t be, she can’t be, she can’t be
Momma’s my only reprieve
She promised me, that the two of us
Would someday find a way to leave

My momma would never leave me here
She promised to always protect me from harm
Take me to her, take me now
I want to fall asleep in her warm loving arms

Please take me to my safe place
Between the heater and the wall
Where my momma can come and find me
So we can escape from it all

I'm a Private Detective who has had the opportunity to work with defense lawyers in the federal system. That work has caused me a great deal of anguish finding the disparity between the federal system and the state system. Recently I worked a case in which a twenty year old boy is charged with a sex crime in the federal system because the boy was living on the Navajo reservation at the time of the incident. The victim is the accused 8 year old sister. There was no sexual intercourse or any contact with the boy's penis. Still, he is looking at a potential 30 year sentence.

That same boy, charged in the state system would get probation. I don't think our Native Americans realize that their citizens who reside on reservations are at risk of spending large chunks of their lives in prison for crimes that would not land them in jail if charged in the state system. It's not right.

I’m a retired police officer who wrote a book about an old cold case murder that I was able to solve. The Re-Killing of Greyeyes: The Trilogy of a Single Death was my first attempt at exorcizing the demons that haunted me as a result of this investigation. The book is an amazing story about Karma and a magical piece of evidence that led to an unknown murderer. I’m told by people that have read the book and don’t know me that it was difficult for them to put it down.
The book was self-published through IUniverse.com. It has only been in print for a few months. In the book’s first week, I had the opportunity to be a key-note speaker at a large statewide conference describing the book and the investigation and I received rave reviews according to the conference coordinator. I sold all of the fifty books that I took to the conference. I’m not certain how many copies have already been sold other than the hundred-plus copies that I have personally sold.
Everyone whom I’ve spoken to has shown an extreme interest in this story. I have been highlighted in a couple of local newspapers and have been interviewed on local talk radio. I am also in the process of setting up numerous book signings around the State of Utah. Eventually, I hope to expand outside of this region to get the message about this story to move across the nation.
I would love to have the opportunity to discuss this story with you further. Now that I’m a crusty old private detective I’m afraid, to the chagrin of my wife, I’m available 24/7. Thank you for everything that you do that makes this world a little better.

Look Under Your Bed
by Mark Nosack

We met in the night and it didn’t go well
and I know that it was not by just chance
You’re a thief with a knife under a drug’s evil spell
Willing to lower yourself to the devil’s dance

You snort, or smoke or shoot that shit
Your monkey’s way the hell out of control
You’re being squeezed like a lime
And soon in time, the sickness will settle it’s toll

Don’t you, Don’t you, Don’t you, Don’t you,
Go for your gun
Don’t you, Don’t you, Don’t you, Don’t you,
Think about trying to run

Look over your shoulder because I’ll be there
Look around every corner, expect to see me
Pay attention to faces for those who stare
Because one of those faces are me

Look under your bed and fear every shadow
Be careful of doors you walk through
Always consider the street that you drive down
Because, buddy, I’m there waiting for you

Be afraid of the dark, be skeerd of the light
Be weary of all parts of the day
Be petrified, be terrorized,
because soon I’m coming to play

You can run, you can hide, change name or hair color
Take great efforts to cover your tracks
But just remember this, This cop’ll never miss
To make certain you serve the max

You’re a monster to man without any plan
Your priorities are always to take advantage
Of innocent folk, and then trying to cloak
That your own life is impossible to manage

Don’t you, Don’t you, Don’t you, Don’t you,
Go for your gun
Don’t you, Don’t you, Don’t you, Don’t you,
Think about trying to run

Look over your shoulder because I’ll be there
Look around every corner and expect to see me
Pay attention to faces for those who stare
Because one of those faces are me

Look under your bed and fear every shadow
Be careful of doors you walk through
Always consider the street that you drive down
Because I’m there just waiting for you

Be afraid of the dark, be skeerd of the light
Be weary of all parts of the day
Be petrified, be terrorized,
because soon I’m coming to play

The Murder Gene

My most recent book is out and available. You can find it at www.PublishAmerica.com

Sometimes the life of a detective sucks. Kidnaping and murder tend to frighten the community to the core. In The Murder Gene: You Always Kill the Ones You Love, the burden lies heavily on the shoulders of Detective Jake Barkley when he responds to the murder scene of fifty six year old Gladys Parra. Jake quickly decides he knows who the murderer is when he finds the victim’s son, Enrique, sitting in a crowd in front of the home with scratches all over his face. Don’t count your chickens too soon Jake.

Enrique (Ricky) has an identical twin sister named Teresa (Terry). Can twins who are male and female be identical?

Jake, an identical twin himself who’s twin brother Jack had died from a methamphetamine overdose, struggles knowing the eerie connection that exists between identical twins. As the investigation unfolds, the plot builds with more murder, mayhem, action, and mystery than Jake ever wanted. Why can’t you people just be nice?

Ricky, an obsessive compulsive almost neurotic little prick, has Jake running in every direction and Detective Jake Barkley is running out of time. As an old detective, I’ve always said that time is on your side when investigating a fresh murder. The problem is, when people are dropping like flies, you need to take action and quick. Detective Jake Barkley shows his metal in a world made of flakes.

I’m a crusty old cop who has experienced evil at its worst. I’ve seen a world that would make even the hardiest horror movie fan shudder. I’ve stuck my head into hell and spit. The Murder Gene is fun with cop humor and cop action and cop failures. Many of the scenes in the book are scenes out of my life. I try to paint those scenes with the color of truth.

The Job

When you been in the business long as I been in the business
You realize evil stands close to your shadow
But because of the job and the memory of Bob
I’m always prepared for the battle

When you been in the business long as I been in the business
Your heart becomes wrapped in a shroud
Still I cry for small children, but try not to feel it
I’m a man strong, giving and proud

When I walk through the dark
I’ve got my hand on my gun
I hope for the worst
and maybe a few minutes of fun

Ah, you think that I’m sick
Maybe you’re right, or then, not
My addiction is to risk
It makes my senses white hot

When you been in the business long as I been in the business
You can’t ignore anyone’s shadow
But because of the job or just the sound of a sob
I’m always prepared for the battle

When you been in the business long as I been in the business
Your heart takes the form of granite
You see death and sorrow and hope there’s tomorrow
To fix another small piece of this planet

If not for good cops
Some folk would have little chance
To live their life safely
To enjoy song or a dance

If not for good cops
Who’d find your missing baby?
Who’d protect you from evil?
Your brother-in-law? Maybe

When you been in the business long as I been in the business
The shadow no longer creates fear
The dark is your friend and the dark is the end
To the horrors that always appear

When you been in the business and you know that the business
becomes a toxin that flows through your veins
You obsess about crime and that changes your mind
The way you think about punishment and pain

So now that the business has impacted your night
And I’ve saved you from the pain of the devil
Don’t thank me, don’t spank me, and quite frankly
Just get your freaking life back on level

Cops and Robbers

Do you believe in Karma? Do you believe in the possibility that the paths of two persons are destined to cross? I don’t know if I do. I’ve been a cop for over thirty years and, through those years, I’ve had the opportunity to taste evil. You may say, what a strange choice of words, opportunity. Understand that a good cop requires his dance with the devil. The Re-Killing of Greyeyes, The Trilogy of a Single Death is a true story about murder with an amazing and magical discovery.

In October, 1979, on the same night that I graduated from the Utah Police Academy, Marilyn Greyeyes left a party alone. Two days later her nude, horribly mutilated body, was discovered on a barren hilltop by two little girls. During the autopsy, the Medical Examiner found a small piece of metal in her brain matter that nobody could identify. Five years later I picked up that piece of metal and recognized it to be a broken trigger guard from a gun. I just needed to find the gun.

Finding the gun that matched that trigger guard was like trying to find the car that matched the hub cap found in the middle of the road, only harder. People don’t throw cars away or destroy them when they lose a hub cap.

I found that gun. Through my investigation I learned that the gun was involved in the deaths of two people. The gun was stolen three times, twice in the same week. I solved every theft and eventually put it in the hands of the man who killed Marilyn. In 1985, I arrested and booked Marilyn’s murderer into jail.

In 1986, the Prosecutor who had filed the murder charges lost his battle for the Salt Lake County Attorney’s Office. He was transferred to Juvenile Court and this case was dismissed.
This story is a must read for every person who enjoys a good crime drama. The story behind the gun is truly unbelievable, unbelievable but true. I realize that its an old story, but so am I. I realize that the murderer was never convicted of his crime, but guess what? That’s life. Still, in my life I’ve had the opportunity to experience failures nobody should ever know. Now that you know, experience with me my failure. I truly believe this is an important, interesting story about hope, truth, justice and injustice.